


is it too late to remind you how we were

by sssammich



Series: where i fall is where i land [2]
Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Angst, Complete, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-20
Updated: 2010-01-20
Packaged: 2017-11-20 19:08:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/588676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sssammich/pseuds/sssammich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things fall apart before they can get put back together again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	is it too late to remind you how we were

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Snow Patrol's song "You Could Be Happy"

He's sitting on the couch with his hands together, head down. She sits on the coffee table in front of him and puts her hands on his. He doesn't look at her, just at their hands, at the ring on her finger.

“Why'd you say yes?” he finally mumbles out, no doubt trying to keep his emotions in check.

She tightens her grip on his hands. “Because I loved you. I still do. And I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.” He turns his head away, slowly shaking it.

“No, please listen. You have to believe me when I thought that's what I really wanted, at least at the time. You and I were a good match and we worked well enough together. But I can't hold it in my conscience to know that I'm just settling with you. You don't deserve to be with me when there's someone out there who's better suited to love you more and better than I ever can.”

He laughs bitterly and pulls his hands away from her, she flinches.

“I don't want someone else! I asked you to marry me because I know in my heart that you're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. You said it yourself, we worked together.”

She swallows down her heart that's been lodged in her throat. “I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you or for this to end up this way.” She slowly walks up in front of him and opens his palms wide. She wriggles the ring free from her finger and places it in his hand before closing it. He tightens his grip on it and clenches his jaw, finding that she really was going through with this.

“Is it someone else?”

She hesitates. That's all the confirmation he needs.

“Did you sleep with him? Have you been cheating on me behind my back all this time? What's his name?” he asks, voice booming.

“No! I would never cheat on you like that. We've never done anything. I would never do that do you!”

“How can I trust that? Huh? How do I know you're not lying to me right now?”

“I would never,  _ever_ , do that to you,” she says to him, pleading.

“It's still cheating if you're thinking about someone else instead of your fiancé!”

“I-”

“What's his name?”

She doesn't know how to answer him because she's never seen this side of him before. His normally gentle and kind disposition seems like a distant memory to his angered towering figure.

“Dammit! What's his name?!”

She bites her lip as tears continue to prick her eyes. “Her name,” she says, slowly exhaling, looking at him in the eyes, “is Dianna.”

His eyes narrow considerably and he attempts to say something but nothing comes out. He tears himself away from her altogether and by the sheer force of his action, she stumbles backwards, feeling frightened of what he might do. He starts walking toward the apartment door and swings the door open.

“Get out,” his tone much quieter than moments earlier, still as angry.

“I'm sorry.”

“I said get out.”

She blinks the tears away as she regains herself and starts walking to the door. She stops in front of him, hands trembling and tries to touch his forearm. He snatches his arm away from her and takes a visible step back, still holding the door.

“I hope that maybe one day, you'll find it in your heart to forgive me.”

She turns around when she crosses the threshold, eyes brimming with tears. He looks at her, like really look at her, and the outrage is apparent in his otherwise normally kind eyes.

“Don't hold your breath,” he says angrily before slamming the door in her face. It takes her a little while to regroup herself, standing on his 'welcome' mat before her shoulders slump down and she begins walking away.

*

Lea's been sitting in the parking lot of Heather's apartment complex for the last thirty minutes, staring at her steering wheel. She knows she's the one that ended her relationship with Cory, but it doesn't make the hurt in seeing him that angry at her, something he rarely was, feel any less.

She's been trying to cry ever since she left but nothing has fallen down her cheeks at all. Aside from the ones that threatened to fall earlier, there hasn't been anything that remotely resembles a breakdown. For someone who can cry on cue, her face has been completely dry this entire time. She doesn't like it.

She jumps when her phone disrupts her thoughts.

"You've been sitting there for the past thirty minutes. And you called me an hour ago. Come on up here."

Lea looks out of her car to see Heather by her window, phone on her right ear, and Naya resting her head on the blonde's shoulder by the other ear, watching.

"Okay."

When she walks up the flight of stairs, she's grateful that Heather opens her door before she gets there.

"C'mere," is all Lea hears before she gets engulfed in a tight hug, with Heather's arms wide open and Naya following suit and hugging her from the other side, sandwiching her in.

They break apart after a little while and they go inside.

While Heather's making tea, Naya and Lea are waiting on the couch. Naya doesn't say anything to her and Lea appreciates the comforting silence right now. She's absentmindedly looking around the living room before she meets Naya's eyes beside her. She's looking at her, almost in understanding, Lea can't be sure, but the other girl only offers a kind smile.

When the blonde comes back, she hands Lea a mug before settling beside Naya.

"What happened?" Naya asks.

"I broke the engagement off with Cory." Heather's eyes are full of concern while Naya nods, her brown eyes looking down.

"Hence the ring."

Lea follows her gaze and sees her naked finger, without the ring she's been wearing for a little under a year.

"Yeah."

"Why?" Heather asks, moving to the other side of the couch to sit beside her and taking her hand. "What happened?"

“It wasn't working out.”

“Why not?”

Lea shakes her head, not sure how to answer that. It should have worked. They were the perfect couple. Both of them were talented, driven, and they were good for each other. But Lea couldn't go on in good conscience, knowing that she has feelings for someone else.

“So you waited to do it now…”

“What?”

“What made you do it now? If you've known for a while.”

“I-I don't know. I guess it just wasn't working out for me anymore and I-it's not fair to him that I'm stringing him along when my heart's not in it.” The three of them are quiet for a moment. Finally, Heather speaks up.

“Does this have to do with Dianna?”

“What? No. Why would- no,” she denies. Naya raises an eyebrow and Heather looks at her expectantly, both seeing through her bluff. “I don't know.” Heather puts a hand on her shoulder and speaks softly with a seriousness that rarely ever crosses the blonde's features.

“Lea, we love you, and we're here to support you. But you need to figure out what role Dianna plays in this.”

She nods mutely before burying her face in her hands. Heather starts rubbing her shoulder as Naya puts a hand on her back.

She doesn't realize she's crying, not until the tears pass through her fingers and fall on her jeans. The sad thing is, she knows that Dianna plays the biggest role in all of this. She just can't bring herself to admit it, knowing she's not only broken the other girl already, but she's also broken a good guy in the process.

* 

He knocks vehemently on Dianna's door until the blonde opens it, looking frustrated and confused.

“Cory! What're you-” she starts to say, but gets cut off.

“You've been lying to me all this time!” he accuses, desperate to make sense of it all.

“What are you talking about?”

“Don't play dumb with me!” he yells, pointing at her, hurt and anguish written all over his face.

“Cory, I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Lea! She broke the engagement because she said she was in love with you.”

“She did what? That's not-why don't you come inside, you're making a scene,” she says as she opens the door wider.

“Look, don't pretend, okay? Just-” he says, not knowing what to do with himself, standing awkwardly in front of her.

“Cory, I know you're mad, but can you please just get inside. We can talk about it in here. C'mon,” she demands, yanking him by the hem of his shirt. Once she walks in, she shuts her door and faces him. “Don't look at me like this is my fault. I didn't know she was gonna do what she did. And I'd appreciate it if you calmed down.”

He nods at her, tries to gather his thoughts. She waits patiently for him, but there is deep concern in her eyes.

“I'm sorry, but I-” He fumbles over his words, lost and uncertain. He looks anywhere but her. She's waiting for him to continue, but when he doesn't, she walks toward him and places a hand on his arm.

“What is it?” she asks, her voice much softer now.

“So you guys didn't plan this? You two never cheated?” She can see that he's steeling himself for the worst, the betrayal of two people he cared for. It hurts her to see him like this. He's a good guy and one he doesn’t deserve this.

“No. You and I have been friends for a long time. You have to understand that I would never do that to you. And I didn't know she would do that.”

“If I had known she loved you, I wouldn't have done anything stupid, like propose to her.” He slumps in front of her and leans against the counter, feeling deflated - defeated. She attempts to meet his eyes, but each time she tries, he averts them away.

“Oh, Cory. I'm really sorry. I don't know what to say.”

“Did you two do anything together?” He sounds so small when he says it that for a moment, she doesn't see him as the grown man that he is, but as a young lost boy.

“No. I would never do that to you.”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “That's what she told me.”

There's a long pause that settles over them. Dianna doesn't so much as move from her spot in front of him, not knowing what to do with herself. She's never seen him  _this_  fragile that she doesn't want to be the cause of him completely coming undone. So she stands, she waits. He finally looks up at her.

“So are you in love with her too?”

It's a question she knows the answer to. She's known the answer for as long as she's known Lea. But she doesn't know how to answer him, and if she should answer. She wants to keep on lying, but that's why he's here, because someone kept the truth from him. And she can't do that to him anymore, not when he deserves better.

“Yeah.”

He rubs at his face, head down, trying his hardest not to fall apart in front of her. He falls on the barstool behind him. She cautiously takes a sit on the other barstool. “Why didn't you guys say anything to me? I'm not Finn. I can take care of myself.”

“We didn't want you to get hurt. And I’m not a home wrecker, Cory.”

“Yeah, I know.” They’re silent for a while before Cory speaks up again. “I'm sorry for barging in here like that.” Dianna shakes her head before putting her hand back on his arm again.

“Do you need anything? Can I do anything?” He laughs a little.

“Thanks, but no thanks. I'm not sure how to take getting help from the girl your ex-fiancée is in love with. It feels too much like a slap in the face.”

“I'm sorry, Cory.”

“Yeah, I know. Me too.”

He offers her a small sad smile, the best one he can muster. He eventually gets up and slowly walks to the door, not once glancing back in her direction before he pulls the door shut behind him.

*

It's been a week since Lea broke off the engagement. She's moved into Naya and Heather's spare bedroom for the meantime, piling her belongings in a storage unit. There’s no doubt in her mind that breaking the engagement was the smartest thing to do - the right thing to do – but it doesn’t make her feel any less like a terrible person.

The pervading thoughts have haunted her in the past week, ruining any chance or hope of sleep she may have had. It becomes another one of those nights and it’s already close to one in the morning when she decides to get up and distract herself.

When Lea cracks her door open, she finds Heather sitting at the end of the couch with her legs propped up on the coffee table, Naya’s head resting on her lap, eyes closed. Heather’s reading silently to herself, one hand running through dark hair. Naya sleeps peacefully, one hand resting on the blonde’s knee. It’s an intimate moment that tugs at her heart. She tries to retreat back into the bedroom but Heather looks up and catches her, smiling. She can only smile back in embarrassment. 

“Sorry I didn’t mean to-”

“No, no. It’s fine. What’s up? Can’t sleep again?”

Lea nods mutely, takes the seat on the armchair beside the couch closest to the blonde.

“Why are you up?” she asks, wondering why the couple isn’t in bed yet.

“Naya wanted to watch 500 Days of Summer…again. But she fell asleep midway…again. When I turned it off, I wasn’t sleepy and I didn’t want to move her, so here I am,” she says, waving a hand towards Naya’s sleeping figure. She smiles and Lea can’t help but smile back in return.

“What’s keeping you up?”

Heather asks like it’s always something new, but it never changes. Lea sighs heavily and slumps down further into the chair.

“Do you think I made a mistake?”

“It depends on which mistake you think you made,” Heather says seriously, though in kind, as she shifts a little in her seat and adjusts Naya’s head on her lap.

“I don’t-” she starts to say but stops herself after it registers in her head what the other girl just said. Heather raises an eyebrow expectantly. “What’re you trying to say?”

“Nothing more than you already know. Look,” she starts to say, the hand smoothing over Naya’s hair coming at a stop. “If you’re asking me if I think it was a mistake for you to break up with Cory, then my answer is no, I don’t. If you don’t love him the way you’re supposed to, then at the very least, you’re not right for him.”

“What’s the way I’m supposed to love him?”

“If you have to ask, then you obviously don’t.”

The two of them fall in silence, Heather continuing to run her hand through Naya’s hair and Lea staring at the corner of the coffee table.

“How’d you know Naya was the one?” she asks eventually, looking up. She catches a smile playing on the other girl’s lips upon hearing her lover’s name. Heather doesn’t answer at first, face scrunched up in thought. But she looks at Lea and offers a warm smile.

“You know when you’re looking for the perfect song to dance to or sing to for something and you keep searching for it but you don’t find it. But then one day it just springs up on you and you know it’s the perfect song because it brings something out of you – like this excitement, this passion – that no other song would. Or like you turn the radio on in the car on and your obscure favorite song from a long time ago plays and it puts you in a really good mood for the rest of the ride. Well, that’s how I know.”

The excitement and giddiness that fills Heather’s voice is enough to warm Lea’s heart, but it leaves her somewhat confused. She must not be hiding it so well because Heather laughs a little.

“It’s probably going to sound cliché, but I didn’t know I was looking for her, but then I found her and I wish that I had looked sooner.”

“But you didn’t know you were looking for her.”

“Yeah, exactly. She came in my life unexpectedly and kind of took over. She brings out something in me that I never knew I had. I didn’t know she was the one, but she sprung up on me one day and I knew she was perfect for me. That kind of happiness and contentment and just, I don’t know,  _good mood,_  that comes from things like finding the perfect song to dance to is what I get when it comes to her, but every day.”

Lea absorbs everything Heather says, nodding mutely. “What if she lets you down?”

“I don’t expect anything out of her more than what I expect from myself.”

The brunette is about to ask another question when Heather’s attention is pulled in by the girl on her lap stirring. Naya stretches out of her spot, extending her arms above her. Heather dodges the arm that’s about to hit her face and Lea can’t help but laugh.

“Baby,” Naya says softly. They think that she’s fallen asleep again but they hear, “let’s go to bed” before the sleepy girl groggily moves about on the couch, lifting her head from Heather’s lap, her eyes barely open from sleep. Lea watches Naya as she makes her way to the bedroom, not once glancing back at her girlfriend or even aware that Lea was there to begin with.

“I guess it’s bed time,” Heather says with a laugh, pulling her legs off the coffee table. Lea offers a smile but doesn’t get up from her seat.

The blonde girl looks at her wordlessly, a little hesitant. “So, I wasn’t technically supposed to say anything, but Dianna’s coming over tomorrow to have a word with you while Naya and I go have lunch with Chris and Jenna.”

Lea’s mouth turns into a small ‘o’ but no sound comes out of it.

“I thought I should tell you so you weren’t blindsided or anything like that.”

“Thanks for telling me.”

Heather nods mutely. Lea watches as the blonde retreats to her bedroom door before turning around to face her again.

“It’s not my business and I’m sorry if I cross the line, but try not to make the mistake with her that you did before. Or I’ll kick you out.”

Lea’s eyes widen but she blinks relief when the blonde laughs a little before closing the door with a soft click.

When Heather is gone, Lea moves from the armchair to the sofa and lies down thinking about what the other girl said. She doesn’t know if she can avoid making the same mistake, but she’s going to try. She knows that hurting all those around her is something she can’t do anymore.

*

Lea hears the knock on the door and steels herself. A part of her wishes Heather hadn’t told her, but she knows she would have no idea what to do with herself when Dianna came in and talked to her.

She opens the door without a word and tries her best to make eye contact with blonde. It doesn’t happen though as Dianna storms through past her.

“What the  _fuck_  do you think you're doing?” Dianna all but yells.

“I’m sorry,” she says softly, but she doubts Dianna heard her. The blonde whips around and continues to speak loudly at her.

“You can't just tell Cory you're in love with me and-what’d you say?”

“I said I was sorry.” Dianna narrows her eyes for a moment.

“Heather told you I was coming, didn’t she?” Lea bites her lip before nodding. The blonde in front of her rolls her eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh. “I should’ve told Naya instead.”

“Dianna, I’m sorry.”

“Cory was so heartbroken when he came over to my apartment,” is all Dianna says, fully ignoring Lea’s apology. “Why’d you do it? I thought you guys were in love.”

“For some time, we were, but then the love that I did have for him, that I still do, was overshadowed with how much I was lying to the two of us about who I really wanted to be with.”

“Lea…” Dianna warns.

“Look,” Lea says desperately, stepping forward, “I made the mistake of not following my heart once and when I thought I was protecting everyone, I ended up doing the complete opposite. I’m not asking you to take me back, but I’m asking for a chance for me to redeem myself, to correct my mistakes.”

Dianna’s quiet and Lea is fighting so hard to keep away from squirming on her spot.

“You know,” she says resignedly, “Cory asked me if I was in love with you too.”

"What-what’d you say?” Lea looks up, anxious to hear the answer. Dianna looks at her and shrugs.

“I thought about lying to him, but that’s what got him into this mess in the first place. So I told him the truth, I told him I was in love with you, that I am still.”

“Oh.”

Dianna shakes her head before letting out a bitter laugh. “You were the one that told me that we could never work. And now we’re here because you’re in love with me and not Cory.”

“I know.”

“You were the one that never wanted to give it a chance!”

“I know.”

“So why are you doing this now?!”

“I was scared! When we lived together, it was too perfect of a fit. It was too much of a good thing that I convinced myself that it was gonna fall apart sooner than later.”

“Didn’t you think I was scared too?”

“No because you seemed so sure of yourself, of us.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me any of this?”

"Because I was so scared that one day you’ll realize that I’m not good enough for you and I know that if I broke your heart, you’ll survive. But if you broke mine, there’s nothing I can do about it.” Lea clenches her jaw, exhaling deeply before blinking out the tears. Dianna’s already wiping the strays out of her own face.

“What do we do now?” Dianna runs a hand through her hair, her eyes roaming the apartment. Blue eyes settle on brown ones.

“We figure this – us – out,” she says waving a hand between the two of them, gesturing their current predicament. Lea sniffles a little bit before responding.

“Okay, I can do that.”

“Okay.”

Lea steps away from Dianna realizing how much space she had crossed between the two of them in the short amount of time. Dianna smiles back gratefully.

“I should go.” It’s not a request. When Dianna gets to the door, Lea calls out.

“This is it, isn't it?” she asks. The last time she heard those words, it didn’t come from her own mouth. The last time she heard those words, it meant the end of their relationship. But this time, this time it’s different.

“Yeah, this is it.” Dianna smiles enough that her nose scrunches up a little and Lea knows she means it.

It’s a start.

*

Lea moves back in with Dianna in their old apartment four months, one week, five days later after a lot of forgiveness, a lot of talking, and a cranky Naya that brings up a good point.

“Dianna!” Naya huffs like a petulant child. “There’s a spare bedroom in your apartment.”  Dianna raises her eyebrows.

“Yeah, so?” Naya glares at her and Heather admonishes her with a gentle hand on her cheek.

“You have been over here for the fourth night in a row. But I miss having alone time with my girlfriend. Why don’t you take yours  _home_  with you? And  _keep_  her there.”

Naya looks at them expectantly. Lea and Dianna look at each other then back at Naya, speechless. Heather laughs before she leans in to her girlfriend and kisses her chastely on the lips. Lea and Dianna don’t say anything and Heather smiles at them brightly.

“Yeah, you guys. Go home.”  

So they do.


End file.
